Friday, November 22, 2013

Don't Forget the Dog!

When I met Gene  last year, we shared many commonalities: We both loved to follow politics, we both lived in Florida and had both previously lived in South Jersey. She and I both had more than our share of funny moving stories. My favorite of Gene's stories were about her pup Patches.

Moving is comedic enough, but add a dog to the mix and you've got something between a Hallmark Original series and an after-school special. When I hear about Gene's moving adventures, I can picture Patches sitting there taking it all in.

After Gene read Home Sweet Homes, she sat down and wrote about her family's moving adventures, in which Patches took a starring role. You'll love her stories.

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I have been enjoying your book and had quite a few laughs.  I used to say that I was going to write a book about one of our moves.

Foremost was the one from Maryland to North Carolina.  We got the final belongings out of the Maryland house, left the last key on the kitchen counter, locked the door and left - only to realize down the street a bit that we had forgotten Patches, our dog.  Our 5-year old said, "Mom, don't worry I can climb up the porch post, go into the house from the bedroom window, get Patches and come out."  We had no idea that he had done this before!

So, we made a last stop at a neighbor's home on the other side of our development, said our goodbyes, drove off and left Patches again!  Of course we returned and retrieved the dog and have quite a few more Patches stories to tell.

After living in an apartment for three months in Charlotte, North Carolina, while our new house was being finished in the Spring, we at long last moved into the home.  The Friday we were to finally move there was a small snowfall.  Of course everyone goes crazy down there when it snows.  Our moving van with all our household goods from the storage warehouse slid off the road and the driver decided it was far too dangerous to continue to the homesite, so they went back to the warehouse.

We meanwhile had moved our clothes, etc. out of the temporary apartment and had notified the utility companies to turn off the electricity, etc.  At this point we had no alternative but to return to the apartment for the weekend.  We managed to survive that weekend by running an extension cord from the neighbor's apartment next door so that we could have lights in our apartment.

And I forgot to tell you that the powder blue carpet which we had specially ordered from the mill in Eden, NC, had arrived defective.  The installers had rolled the carpet out in the street after they had installed the underlayment when they discovered the defects.  So we had to have plywood laid over the foam rubber underlayment before the furniture could be brought in. We lived like this for several months until our new carpet was ready from the mill and installed.  Only then did we realize that everytime Patches went out of the house we had to wipe all four paws upon his return because our sod had not been laid in the yard and the soil was red clay.  We also discovered that the builder had failed to install shims between the columns which supported the house and the floor joists, so the house shook when Patches walked across the kitchen floor.

Like you, we have had many moves and were able to stay in the North Carolina house only a year.  We left with me crying all the way to Moorestown, New Jersey. and have moved three times since for a total lifetime ownership of seven single-family homes and some condos added.

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Poor Patches! Sometimes I wonder what these dogs think of us, moving all over the place.  Now it’s Your Move! Tell us your funny moving stories at  And don't forget to send in photos, too! 


If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

How to Intimidate Your Movers


My friend Barb, who I've known since we were both nearly in diapers, is a savvy, single, sophisticated woman. But intimidating she is not. At the end of the day she's from Ohio, and as a Buckeye State native myself, I can tell you we are born with the honesty gene and the down-to-earth gene, but not an intimidation gene.

So when Barb was moving, her moving crew was - to put it gently - from the other side of the tracks. There were four of them and even fewer teeth among them. Barb was alone and just a little bit intimidated by her moving crew. Wanting to appear as menacing as she could, Barb did what any enterprising woman would do: She talked in a New York accent.

"So they would be afraid of me," she recalled. "How silly."

Barb also tipped the movers way more than she should have "so they would think I was a real New Yorker."

"They probably laughed all the way to the liquor store," she said.

 What's your funny moving story? Send us a note at


If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.