Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Mover Beware

If the 2016 presidential hopefuls aren't depressing enough for you, I suggest you look into some of the moving scams going on. People looking to steal your money and your belongings have been around for a long time, and despite wary consumers and industry safeguards, they seem to be still flourishing.

Moving scammers' MOs vary, from outright driving away with a truck full of your possessions never to be seen again, to taking deposits, never showing up, and then disappearing into the night.

In all my moves, I've never been outright scammed. I did get burned by some broken promises, a moving contract with vague language that didn't meet my expectations in the end, and a process for filing a claim for a broken lamp that was impossible and not worth the hassle. I learned quickly that some movers and relo companies can be super helpful and accommodating until your move is technically over and the bill's been paid. But if you try to follow up after the move? Not so helpful or accommodating.

I'm lucky. There are people who are victimized every day by disreputable moving companies and people falsley claiming to be movers. keeps a list of stories in the news about people who have been robbed blind by fake - and in some cases real - moving companies.

There's the woman who paid a deposit and got the run-around by a company that never intended to move her. The active duty soldier whose belongings were sold by the moving company while he was deployed. Belongings that are lost and uninsured. And lots and lots of unlicensed moving companies.

Don't become one of the victims in these stories. Do your research, know your moving company, and make sure it's legit before you sign or pay.
Some tips:
  • Ask for references. A legitimate moving company has a binder full of past customers who would be willing to vouch for them. Follow up and call them. Ask specific questions about their move and how it was handled. Your real estate agent is also a great reference for good movers.
  • Google it! First, you'll find a physical address for the moving company, if they're real. Second, you'll uncover praise and pans from past customers.
  • Don't give a deposit. Real estate expert Barbara Corcoran advises that reputable moving companies will never ask for money up front before your move is tackled.
  • Know what the moving contract's insurance will cover and know what your belongings are worth. If there is a catastrophic or even not-so-catastrophic loss, you need to know that insurance will cover it. If you're unsure, get additional insurance.
  • Be sure your moving estimate is based on weight and not cubic feet. Industry rules require that weight be proven, while cubic feet can be falsely inflated by the company.
And lastly, remember the golden rule of smart consumerism: If it sounds too good to be true, take a pass. Moving is no time to eke out small savings. Your move is important enough to require a trustworthy moving company.


If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Who Needs an Old Fashioned Transition Toolkit? This Modern Girl

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and admit that the old school way is still the best way.

Just as people today in their 20s and 30s are getting inspiration from Zig Zigler, and improving their attitudes with Dale Carnegie, I had a big YES!  moment from reading about Virginia Satir's transitional phases, a model she put together in the 1980s.

It seems when faced with a big life transition - like moving, divorce, new job, emptying or populating nests - we experience and process the change the same way we always have.

Why is this important to know? Because when you're going through your next transition - God love ya - you'll recognize what stage you're in and find some reassurance that you're not on Step 2 out of 4,568.

According to Satir's model, there are only six phases and while some of them might take some time, especially if you stumble and bumble and fight the transition tooth and nail, you will survive them and make it to the finish line. That's the hope anyway.

Think back on a transformational moment in your life. You probably went through these six steps - some more painstaking, drawn out, and laborious than others perhaps - but I bet you'll recognize all six. Because I've moved so often, whenever I have to look back at an example of a life transition, I go to one of my many relocations. I'm starting to see a pattern here.

Stage 1: Late Status Quo

This is the uneventful present, where things are going along just as you expected. But this is called late status quo for a reason. Although you don't know it yet, your precious status quo is about to blow to bits.

For me, this stage is where I start considering starting a big community volunteer project or applying for full-time jobs, thinking I'm now rooted into my new community. My husband wouldn't move us now, for goodness sake. I can finally sit back and enjoy the completely painted and decorated house, the fence that we just had installed, and the fruit trees we just spent a fortune to have planted. Life is good. I love the status quo. Status quo and I are going to get a room.

Stage 2: Foreign Element

Here, an unexpected event occurs. You get a call from your lawyer. Or your doctor. Or your boss's boss. Whatever it is, the foreign element tells you instantly and urgently that everything has changed.

Red lights and sirens are going off in my head and I'm short of breath. And I have a headache from banging my head repeatedly on the washer. I conspire with the kids to have us all run away from home and live with one of their friends locally. I'm not eating a lot in this phase, but I am drinking. A lot.

Stage 3: Chaos

Your life has been turned upside down. All that you thought you knew has to be reconsidered. Your future plans are probably in jeopardy at some level or another. And while this stage is very unpleasant, it gets your mind working, reanalyzing everything, and processing what's going to happen next.

What's going to happen next is that I'm going on a rampage. That's what's going to happen next. I'm spending half the day on the phone with relocation coordinators, real estate agents, appraisers and my kids' guidance counselors and the other half of the day trying to decide why the eff one of Ohio's airports is in Kentucky. In closing out our current town, I'm cramming all the fun we forgot to experience into our last few weeks, but at the same time trying to hate it so we can leave room in our hearts for our new place, which has all different cool stuff. Stuff we know nothing about.

Stage 4: Transforming Idea

You have an a-ha! moment. All that chaotic thinking results in something clicking into place. You find a way forward and you start to think about how to make that happen.

For me, this stage means suddenly remembering all the things I can get out of, now that I'm moving. Sure, I'm sad that I can't run for school board, but I also can't be treasurer of the PTA anymore or any clean-up committee at all. Nor will I have to figure out a solution to that kid next door and his obnoxious basketball dribbling 20 hours a day. I start to check problems off my list.

Stage 5: Integration and Practice

This is where you try out that transformative concept, weighing the pros and cons, and test-driving ideas until you find the one that fits. This stage can be discouraging, especially if you are new to life transitions and are feeling your way. But you'll keep up the trial-and error until you get to the final stage.

Stage 5 is the rollercoaster that is moving. One day you're ecstatic about having a swimming pool in your life and the next day you're crying in your p grig over going from a house with 12 walk-in closets and a finished basement to a house with one storage closet that also holds your washer and dryer. "I can do this! This is going to be great!" you tell yourself. "I'll be the swimming pool lady. I won't be the lady that has 36 of everything anymore. It'll be great, right?"

Stage 6: New Status Quo

Aaaah! As you get used to your new approach or outlook, you settle into a comfortable peace.

Stage 6 is my favorite. Sometimes Stage 6 doesn't come for a couple of years. But eventually, I start to love my new house. I've gotten the whole dang thing painted, organized just the way I like it. The fence is up, the dog has determined that she can, in fact, walk up stairs that are not carpeted, and the home d├ęcor is finished. I'm looking for a long-term volunteer project and am thinking of applying for full-time jobs.

Oh, status quo,  my love, don't you dare. Don't. You. Dare.


If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Lost Blankie? There's an App For That!

I had a nice email exchange with Morgan McReynolds, a guy whose child's blankie was lost in a big bunch of moving boxes. He survived.

We never lost a blankie in a moving box, but that might be because my kids rarely let go of physical contact with their blankets (named "Nemma," "Bip," Baby" and "Ammol Bankie") especially during a stressful move.  We lost "Baby" temporarily twice, once in a hotel room in North Carolina, and once in a hair salon that was dangerously close to closing for the weekend before I could get there to rescue it.

As a parent, those kinds of incidents scar you.  You might forget their teachers' names or how much they weighed at birth, or even which of your kids is allergic to avocados, but you'll take a lost blankie story to the grave with you. I can see me at 105: "I don't know my own name or whether I have a body below my waist right now, but I remember July 17, 1992, when we had to drive 50 miles back to the Comfort Inn outside Charlotte to root through the bed sheets to find Baby."

So when Morgan told me the result of the Blankie in the Bottom Moving Box Crisis of 2014 was that he started a company  that helps to better label, track, and organize moving boxes by contents, I was like: "Well done, Dad. Well done."

SmarterBoxes is Morgan's way of paying it forward and proving that you wouldn't wish a lost blankie on your worst enemy.

When he first told me about SmarterBoxes, I immediately thought of all the moving box mislabeling mishaps I've experienced or heard of. I told him about my sister Pam, who couldn't figure out what was in the box the movers had labeled "RIEF."  It was a Christmas wreath. Morgan and I got a chuckle out of that one and then he told me the blankie story.

Morgan's family move involved home renovations, temporary living, and storage, the triple threat of relocation. I don't know what kind of IQ is required to correctly put everything in the boxes that are going to the right place during that kind of move, but I know I don't have it. And apparently neither does Morgan. Because he couldn't find his son's blankie.

"(It) was in the box at the bottom of a stack of boxes four high and about four rows deep. It was the last of about 40 boxes that I opened and moved to find where it was . . . at about 1 a.m..  Brutal," he wrote.

Tell me about it.

You tell your kids again and again that moving will not ruin their lives and then some freak packing accident goes and does just that.

SmarterBoxes is cool. Here's how it works

Instead of writing on each box with a marker, you use SmarterBoxes' labels, which have scannable codes. You record each coded box on the SmarterBoxes app with what's inside each box.  You can enter descriptions of what's in the box , take photos of the contents, or both. You can enter where the box is coming from and what room it's going into in the new place. For unpacking, the app will tell you what priority each box has, and - most importantly - which box holds that precious item that someone in your family can't live without.

So when your 13-year-old comes to you on moving-in day and Valley-Girl-whines that her earphones are lost forever and she might as well just join the Navy or become a nun, you can check your app, search for  Hillary's earphones and be the superhero of your family's move.

SmarterBoxes' company motto is "Improve Your Move." The company is based on someone who has been where you are, has experienced some of the mishaps of moving, and has figured out a better way.

And because Morgan and his family have been through stressful moves, they understand that a moving person is a person who needs a little sympathy.  "Moving is one of the biggest projects that people undertake in their personal lives, and we think that people going through something that significant need more than just an app," says the SmarterBoxes website. "So, we designed the SmarterBoxes service to offer 24x7x365 customer support – from real human beings.  Call us at any time with questions.  We know moving can be tough, and we want to provide a full-featured service that takes the stress out of your move."

What you need to know

Pricing: Between $2.50 and $50.00, depending on the size of your move
What's included: Labels, the Smarterboxes app, 24/7/365 customer support
More info: Call 844-HiBoxIQ (1-844-442-6947) or email


If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.