The Evolution of the Kitchen

I don't know about you, but in all of my dream houses, the kitchen is where I spend the bulk of my fantasy life. The kitchen of my dreams has top-of-the-line appliances, a wine refrigerator, a TV, a desk and an upholstered chair with a really good reading lamp. It has an offshoot with a big project table and supply cabinets. It's bigger than my first apartment and would have so much storage, I'd have a drawer just for corkscrews.

In other words, if some sexist jerk told me to stay in the kitchen where I belong, I would gladly do it. After I smacked him and made myself a stiff cocktail.

I'm not alone in my kitchen-obsessed dream world. According to a recent article in REALTOR Magazine,  more homeowners are seeing their kitchens as so much more than just a place to cook. They want their kitchens to be a family gathering place, a perfect spot for casual entertaining, and the hub of the house.

This trend has been growing for some years. The American kitchen went from being a strictly utilitarian place to cook food to being elegant enough to also house a china cabinet, to having furniture comfortable enough to make you never want to leave.

For me and my many moves, my kitchens got bigger and more family friendly every time we relocated, until I found myself with a kitchen that had it all, but was chopped up and disjointed. From there, I moved into a house with the opposite - a  kitchen that was smack dab in the middle of a wide open floor plan. It had no real beginning or end, but flowed right into the rooms around it.

Depending on your family and lifestyle, you may want to jump on the bandwagon and make your kitchen the centerpiece of your home, where your family comes together, where your children do their homework, where you do your projects, and where guests gather. .

You can have that kitchen without breaking the bank and without uprooting and upgrading. There are so many ways you can transform your kitchen from the cooking place to the everything place in your home.

Create a soft, comfortable corner

This doesn't require carpet or overstuffed furniture. A few well placed pillows on a bench with warm lighting will make you and your family members want to cozy up in the kitchen, or just get out of the hustle-and-bustle without ever leaving the room.

Focus on seating

If you truly want your family and guests to gather in the kitchen, be sure there is enough seating. This doesn't mean you have to have a chair for every person. Stools, benches, kitchen table chairs that can be pulled out to be more accessible - all of these will put out the welcome mat.

Make the room more welcoming

A kitchen can be overwhelming with hard, shiny surfaces. Upholstered chair seats, throw pillows, soft patterned window treatments and other textiles can make your kitchen a place you want to be.

Think about what you want to DO in the kitchen

I never "got" the idea of having a loveseat in the kitchen until I realized that I really preferred leafing through recipes while sprawled out on a couch. I get it now!

My dream of having a separate project table in the kitchen never came to pass, but I did make sure I had a kitchen table that could withstand sewing projects, the kids' art projects, and Christmas - which in our house involves making ornaments, addressing hundreds of cards, baking tons of gifts, and building a gingerbread house.

Many parents want their children to do their homework in the kitchen, so they can keep an eye on and a hand in. If that's you, set up your kitchen so your little ones and teenagers can study how they prefer.

Don't forget about the primary purpose: cooking!

No matter how far it evolves, the kitchen has something going for it that no other room has: Food! The smell of fresh baked bread, spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove, or fresh herbs growing on the countertop - are the reason party guests will instinctively be drawn to the kitchen at any sized party in any sized home.

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If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Downsizing? Finding Storage Solutions in Your Condo

Downsizing can be tough: No matter how much purging, donating and trashing you do, you’ll still need storage in your new smaller home. If you’ve walked through your new condo and thought, “Hmm, where am I going to put everything?” don’t panic. Storage solutions can be found in the most unlikely places!

Look for dead space where drawers or cabinets can be installed

You can turn dead space behind window seats, under staircases and other nooks and crannies into storage space, with a little help from a carpenter or cabinetmaker.

Drawers make fantastic storage options, as long as the contents aren’t too heavy.

Expand your closets

Some homes are built with a lot of dead space behind the walls. What’s behind that master bedroom closet? Possibly another two to three feet of space. Look for areas in your condo where there might be hidden dead space in room layouts and have it opened up.

I had a house in Kentucky in which the bedroom closets were strangely shaped, had twists and turns and were just plain unusual. Then I realized that the builder had used all the space possible to create the closets. Storage was plentiful!

Divide and conquer with room dividers

A free-standing closet or cabinet can do double duty by dividing one room into two smaller rooms and carrying its own storage. Consider this option if you have enough living space, rooms are spacious enough for your needs, but you’re willing to have slightly smaller rooms in exchange for added storage.

There’s the door

Look no further than the doors - room doors and closet doors - for storage solutions. You can increase a storage closet’s capacity by almost half by attaching hooks or holders to the back of a door.

Don’t be afraid of what’s under the bed

The boogyman isn’t under there, but your winter coats, boots and skis might be. Under-bed storage solutions run the gamut from built-in pull-out drawers to portable containers on wheels to any box or container that will fit under there.

Make your furniture do double duty

A coffee table can be your extra blanket storage, an ottoman can flip its lid to reveal your CD collection, a desk can surround cubbies full of office and school supplies, and have you seen the couch that hides a ton of storage space? If you’re buying new furniture for your downsized space anyway, why not get pieces that will do double duty?

Use what storage space you do have as wisely as possible

Here’s where I put in a plug for Pinterest. Those pinners are overflowing with smart storage solutions. Retailers like The Container Store and Organize-It have storage bins, baskets and organizers to fit every home.

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If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Locating Services in Your New Home

If you gathered 10 people and asked them, "What's the hardest part of moving to a new city?" you might get one person who says packing and another who says unpacking. But probably eight of the 10 will say the hardest thing about moving is not knowing who to call when you need something done.

During every one of my 10 out-of-town moves, I hit a peak of frustration when I realized I didn't know a single plumber, electrician or handyman, I had no idea where to get my hair cut, and I was probably going to go through a couple dry cleaners before I found someone I liked.

Frustrating, because word-of-mouth recommendations are the best way to find services, and we're new in town and don't know anyone to ask!

Fortunately, I've found some ways to locate great services when I'm new in town.

I love me some library

Yes, even in this day of holding so much power in a smart phone, your local library still is a valuable resource. When you're new in town, make the public library one of your first stops. Check out bulletin boards, fliers, brochures and other local resources. You might be surprised how fast you can be connected with your new community, just by going old school. The more more people you connect with, the faster you'll be able to get recommendations and referrals for services.

How to use Yelp and other review websites

How hard can it be? You need an appliance repairman, you go to Yelp, do a search for appliance repairmen in your city and look at the reviews. That's a start, but it requires a little bit more work to get a true picture.

Read carefully. Smaller review websites and even large ones like Yelp are fraught with potential problems. Competitors can create phony accounts and post bad reviews. Business owners can give incentives for glowing reviews. If you're going to use a review website, don't just look at the ratings or number of stars. Carefully read the best and worst reviews and look for details that ring true. If the reason for a one-star rating is "He showed up 20 minutes late and smelled like peanut butter" you can probably discount that one.

Look for the ratings that are somewhere between the extremes. These reviewers are going to be the most prolific and thoughtful reviewers and will most likely paint a picture of their experience that includes both pros and cons.

Look for responses from the business. A business serious about good customer service is going to take online reviews seriously and will respond to a bad review. You may get some insight into the quality of the service provider just from his or her response.

Hair salons and other personal services

Right before my move from Ohio to Illinois, I was complaining to my hair stylist, Ken, that I was dreading the first few months in my new city. It had taken me six months to find Ken when we moved back to Ohio from Virginia. Now it was time to move again and I knew there were some try-and-miss bad haircuts in my future.

"There's got to be a better way," I told Ken.

"There is," he said. He told me to go to a shopping mall, get a coffee and take a seat in the middle of a busy concourse. "When you see someone who has hair similar to yours and you like the way it looks, ask her where she gets her hair cut."

Well, if that isn't the best idea ever. It seems bold, but people generally don't mind being approached, especially if your question is also a compliment. Word of mouth is the least risky way to find salon services. And better yet when you can see the results for yourself.

Social networks and apps

Our favorite social networks connect us with old boyfriends, but do little for our relationships with the guy next door. But where Facebook fails, there are other networks to step in.

I am currently loving Nextdoor, a social network app that connects me with people in my own neighborhood. We can sell our unwanted furniture, get recommendations on pet sitters, and compare notes on why the fire department was on our block last night. The best part is getting recommendations for home repair providers who service our area, restaurants and personal services.

Nextdoor is one of a number of hyper-local social networks available online and as apps for your mobile devices. Ask your neighbors if there's one that serves your area.

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If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

4 Tips for Packing Early and Pacing Your Move

Packing is the most time consuming part of your move. While there are some who say packing too early can lead to frustration, if you pack smart and early, you could have the smoothest move yet.

1. Start packing as soon as you know you're moving

Your move officially starts when you start to pack that first box. Early packing gets you in the mindset of de-cluttering, paring down your belongings, and gives you plenty of time to calmly decide what you want to take with you to your new home. A couple of months before your move date is not too early to start packing. In fact, it's never too early to start packing!

Set up a few moving boxes in each room of your house with labeling, wrapping, and color-coding supplies nearby. Pace yourself by packing a box or two every night, so the task isn't too overwhelming.

2. Pack in order of increasing use

Start by packing the items that you rarely use: The coffee server that you use once a year and the punch bowl that you never use. Don't be surprised if some of these items never make it into a packing box at all, but instead get put into the donation pile. In this first packing round, also pack:

• Out-of-season clothing and outerwear
• Holiday decorations
• Seasonal tools and garage items
• Basement storage, attic storage, memorabilia, financial papers not needed for house purchase and sale
• Extra blankets and bedding
• Guest room and rooms that are little used
• Anything else you're sure you won't need to use before your move

As you approach Moving Day, continue to pack items that you won't be using. By the week before your move, you should have everything packed except for the things you would take if you were going on a week-long vacation, plus some dishes and a few cooking supplies.

3. Use the Top Open Box rule

Keep your boxes organized so that all your same-room boxes are stacked together. As you pack available items, fill a box, tape it shut, label it, and then put a new, empty box on top of the stack. Now you're ready for the next packed box.

While you're at it, set up your suitcases and boxes of things you'll be moving yourself - the movers' Do Not Move pile. As you continue to pack boxes, what's left can be put into your suitcases.

4. Pace yourself

As tempting as it seems to take care of each task all at once, it's more efficient and less exhausting to handle your move in small chunks, especially when dealing with the things you've decided not to pack. Schedule more than one trip to a donation center, to friends' houses, and to the large trash drop-off, to deliver those things you've decided not to move. Keeping up with packing and purging as you go will keep the work from building up to an annoying and exhausting crescendo.

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If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Just Moved Away From Family? It's Friendsgiving Time!

I'm hosting Thanksgiving for some family members and asked my friend Lynn if her daughter would like to come. Her daughter recently moved to San Francisco and I thought she might be "stuck" here for the Thanksgiving holidays. There's no way I could enjoy scarfing down my ninth deviled egg and third piece of pumpkin pie, let alone squirting the whipped cream directly into my mouth, if I knew that somewhere in my city was a young woman eating take-out alone in her apartment.

No, Lynn said. Her daughter will be hosting a Friendsgiving for her friends and coworkers who are also "stuck" here.

What a great idea!, I thought. And then: More whipped cream for me. No! I did not think that.

Thanksgiving is the toughest holiday if you've just recently moved away from your family. For Christmas or Hannukah, your school or employer will most likely give you enough time off to travel back home. Same with Easter and other major holidays. But Thanksgiving? You're lucky to get the day before and the day after off work. Best case scenario, you're traveling to and fro on the busiest travel days of the year. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving and the Sunday after are brutal if you're traveling by car and even more horrendous if you're flying. Personally, I'd rather eat haggis alone in a dark, damp Turkish prison on Thanksgiving than negotiate the San Francisco airport on the Wednesday before the fourth Thursday in November.

Two things

Two things make being away from family tough on Turkey Day: One, no matter what your race, religion, beliefs or lifestyle, Thanksgiving is a holiday celebrated by every American. It's for all of us. It's also why we are the most gluttonous, flabby nation on earth. Our big national holiday is centered around a fat, giant bird filled with carbs. I use an average of five sticks of butter to make a typical Thanksgiving dinner. God bless America.

Two, it's not like you can celebrate it remotely. Thanksgiving is all about sharing one big meal with those you love. You can send Christmas gifts and Easter baskets through the mail, but you can't overnight the mashed potatoes that your family loves. Well, you could try, but the gravy would ruin the box.

So here's what you do

If you're just recently moved away from home, you've been put through the wringer enough. Adjusting to being away from family at the start of the holiday season is doubly difficult.

So find yourself some friends, take these tips that I found on the Internet, crack open that box of wine and have a Friendsgiving to remember!

Make it potluck

Hosting a Friendsgiving is different than hosting a real Thanksgiving. For your friends, let everyone contribute what they like to make. Divide up the duties, too. Put one of your guests in charge of music, another in charge of setting the table, and designate another as bartender.

Have something to do

When you're with your family, you've got that crazy uncle to entertain you.  He won't be with you this year, so you're going to have to come up with your own entertainment. Games - card games, board games, drinking games, memory games - are the answer. Or take a walk or a hike. Don't go Black Thursday Night shopping; you'll bum everyone out with that suggestion.

Now's your time to break tradition

Back home, Grandma is making butterhorns the way she's been making them forever, Mom is cooking a turkey the way she's been cooking it forever, and Dad is serving Manhattans - not spiced wine, not beer, not a new, fun drink - but Manhattans, because that's what we do every year; it's a tradition, dammit, and that's what Thanksgiving is all about! But that's not what Friendsgiving is all about. You get to break all the rules, make it up as you go along. Shoot, you can serve lasagna if you want. Be sure to brag about it to all of your relatives. Have fun pissing off your aunts and uncles.

 More Friendsgiving ideas

Orphan Thanksgiving: How to Host the Ultimate Friendsgiving If You Can't Go Home: Don't obsess about duplicates. "So what if three people bring a green bean casserole? They're all going to be different, and they're all going to get eaten."

Why Your Friendsgiving Is Always Better Than Your Thanksgiving: Because a Friendsgiving is so much more than just expensive dish-ware and 18 pound turkeys… It’s boxed wine, instant mashed and one too many stories; it’s laughing until you fall out of your chair and fighting over who does a better moon walk.

Nine Tips for Friendsgiving: A Foolproof Guide for Thanksgiving With Your Friends: Don't overplan. Once the date arrives, let the dinner and the festivities flow naturally and just have fun! 

10 Reasons Why Friendsgiving is Awesome: You're allowed to drink as much as you want. Seriously.

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If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

4 Ways Realtors Can Help Their Home-Buying Clients

1. Listen to us

and try to understand what we're going through

Moving is hard. We have a lot of balls in air, a lot on our plate, and all the other cliches you've heard. In addition to looking for a new house with you, we are packing, planning going-away parties for our children, switching bank accounts, finding new doctors, selling our old house, arranging for turn-ons and turn-offs of utilities, and praying that our mail doesn't get lost in space.

When our buyer's agent knows all this and understands, even helps to keep us calm and focused on the task at hand - finding the perfect house! - both of our jobs get easier.

My favorite Realtors were the ones who spent a lot of time listening to me ramble on about what I liked about a house or a neighborhood. Even my seemingly meaningless chatter helped her to get to know me better and help me find the house of my dreams.

2. Respect our needs, wants & budgets

even when they don't make sense to you

We want a back yard, but we don't care if there is grass in it. We need a fourth bedroom, but it doesn't have to have a closet. The master bedroom, however, must have his and her closets.

Hard to keep up with, eh? All of your clients are different, not just in their price range and family size, but in their lifestyles. They're all coming from different types of homes in different parts of the country, and this move means something different to each of them.

You'll get extra brownie points with your clients if you stick to their budget and refrain from showing them houses just out of reach. True, most of your clients may end up eventually raising their price limit, but let that come from them and not from you.

3. Be our first friend in town

you're all we've got, man

As our real estate agent, you may be the only person we know in town - in the entire state, in the case of some of my moves. I was one lonely new girl in town, so when I needed to know which newspaper I should subscribe to or where the closest Joann Fabric store was, I needed to pick up the phone and call my Realtor.

If you've always lived in the same place, it's hard to imagine how little someone could know. But many of your clients are clueless, confused, and probably lost on the wrong highway exit.

Stick around after closing and be a friend.

4. Help our children adjust

help your community one new kid at a time

This one is important. As a parent, our #1 moving job is to see to it that our kids are adjusting to the new place. But we're new, too. You can be a load of help, by clueing our kids into the ins and outs.

If you know kids at our bus stop, mention that there will be some new faces there and ask that they be a friendly, welcoming face. (Or whatever age-appropriate thing they do.) Same goes for the lunchroom. If you know kids in the same grade, let them know there are some new kids coming.

The best Kid Welcome Wagon is the child or teen who has recently moved. And who knows who those kids are better than you. You placed those kids in homes in the last few years. Now's the time to hit them up and have them return the favor and welcome the next newcomers.

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If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Interview With Heather Maisner

As anyone who has ever moved knows all too well, one of the most difficult aspects of moving is getting the children to accept the changes and settle into their new home. Heather Maisner's children's book We're Moving has been a godsend to parents who want to explain an upcoming move to their young children in terms they can understand. Here, Heather talks with us about her writing and the children for whom she writes. 

Tell us something about your background and writing career.

I grew up in a lively household with two sisters, a dog, a cat, two budgerigars, too many visiting aunts and uncles, and over 20 cousins. I used to hide away in the lavatory, making up stories. I wrote a novel (unpublished) when I was 12, and won the Daily Mirror Children’s Literary competition out of 35,000 contestants when I was 16. I always knew I wanted to be a writer. I began writing for children after my son and daughter were born.  I’ve now written over 30 children’s books, translated into eight languages.

Recently, I became author and publisher of Dinosaur Douglas Books. The first title Dinosaur Douglas and the Beastly Bugs, featuring the very naughty Dinosaur Douglas, encourages children to look after their teeth.

What led you to write the book “We’re Moving?”

The stories I write for the very young are often based on real-life situations. When a publisher was looking for an author to develop a series about the everyday events in a young child’s life, several authors wrote samples. Happily, mine was chosen. “We’re Moving” is one of four titles about Amy and Ben.

In “We’re Moving” you zone right in on exactly what causes preschool-age children anxiety about moving - leaving friends and familiar surroundings, missing the flowers they planted, the emptiness of the new house at first. How did you get that insight into the mind of a child?

I teach creative writing to children in schools across the borough of Hammersmith and

Fulham, where I live. I am also Author in Residence at two local schools. In this part of London, there are many transient families. I visited schools and asked the children how it felt to move house and what they missed most from their old homes. I spoke to many children and parents and, when I had written the story, I read it to the children, too. I felt it was really their story.

All children handle moving differently. What are some of the more common responses to moving that a parent can expect?

During and after the move, a child’s behavior can suddenly change: They may become withdrawn or irritable. They may start having tantrums; their sleep can be disrupted and they can become fussy about eating - or not want to eat at all.

Is there such a thing as being too young to be anxious about a move?

It is never too young for a baby to be anxious. A psychotherapist friend, who works with mothers and babies in a neo-natal intensive care unit, says even premature babies can be anxious, as they pick up their parents' stress.

What advice do you have for parents who are moving children and want to alleviate some of that anxiety they’re going through?

It’s a good idea for parents to prepare children in advance. You should visit the house a few times, if possible, and talk about what is going to happen; get the children to draw the house or their new bedroom and plan some exciting things they might want to do when they get there. On the day of the move, children can help pack their belongings, and it’s important to let them keep their favourite toys safe beside them on the journey.

On arrival, make sure their bed is made up as quickly as possible and put up some pictures or hang curtains from the old house in their room to make them feel at home. Spend time as a family  – go for a walk, go shopping, enjoy the new surroundings together. Naturally, parents are frantically busy trying to get everything done but it makes a real difference if you spend as much time as possible with the children, too.

When you’ve settled in, remember to visit the old house and keep in touch with friends. If you have moved far away, children can draw or Skype or look at photos, so that they don’t feel they've dropped off the end of the world or that something bad has happened. Above all, spend time with your children: listen to what they have to say; go for walks and explore the area together, so that everyone gets to enjoy this new adventure in a new place.

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In addition to We're Moving, Heather Maisner has written more than 30 children's books. More about Heather and her books can be found on her website at www.HeatherMaisner.com.

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If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.