Changing the House You Love

When my husband and I were house-hunting here in San Francisco, I talked him into looking at this huge, old Victorian mansion. It was a historic landmark and was where the  head of the Church of Latter Day Saints died in the late 1800s. The place was technically in our price range, but it needed a new roof, all new windows, new electrical, and it had about four too many sinks. There were sinks in the most unexpected corners of formal rooms. It also had carved wood paneling, a back staircase, secret passageways and a bunch of fireplaces.

Needless to say, I wanted that house. And I wanted it bad. I could see us doing a blog/book/reality show about our renovations of the house and ensuing divorce and/or spousal aggravated homicide. We could start out on HGTV and then move right to Snapped: Women Who Kill and then a guest spot on Orange is the New Black. Seemed like a savvy business move to me.

Needless to also say, we didn't buy that house. My husband and our Realtor conspired against me and told me to get a grip on reality, and not the show kind.  So we bought the next best thing: A smaller, slightly newer, better maintained Edwardian house with an appropriate number of sinks and only one that needed to be replaced.

We started renovations immediately. Now, eight months after my move into this house, I am starting to see that even this simpler renovation is creating so much chaos and upheaval, I can't imagine how I could have coped with anything larger.

We've already completed some major projects, including having hardwood installed on three staircases, and painting the exterior of the house. Currently, we are having the kitchen gutted and redone, including a small addition, as well as four rooms in the top floor painted. The top floor also got some new electrical and new wet-bar improvements. Next up: Renovating the master bathroom and having the rest of interior painted.

All of this got me to thinking: How many people move into a house and make major changes in it, just months after moving in?  Moving seems to naturally precede renovating or - at the very least - redecorating. If you bought a house and loved every single thing about it, including the color of every wall, you probably bought the house for all the wrong reasons. Even if you love, love, love that house that you just bought, it won't be long before you want to start making changes.

Not all home renovations are smart. According to HGTV's Homekeeping, there are at least 25 big mistakes you can make when renovating your home. Things like buying cheap materials, inaccurate measurements, avoiding permits and skipping prep are shortcuts that you'll most likely regret. Mistakes like going too trendy and ignoring your home's style are usually made by first-time home-buyers who can't see past their visions of a dream house.

One of the big 25 mistakes is failure to anticipate chaos. "I see this time and time again where people just start, and they think they're going to pull a piece of wallpaper off, and by the time the process is over, they've completely gotten themselves into a deep, dark hole that's very difficult to get out of," adds Eric Stromer of Over Your Head.

That "deep, dark hole" is a familiar place for me. Our home renovations projects have consistently been more complicated, more expensive and more chaotic than we ever expected. But let's face it: If we knew how chaotic home renovation would be, we might not tackle it in the first place.

That big Victorian mansion with all the sinks? It was bought by someone. We drove past it a few weeks ago and saw that the windows had been replaced and the exterior was painted. Who knows what other gorgeous improvements have been made on the inside. Or maybe that's where the chaos is going on. I'd love to knock on the door and offer an encouraging word. And offer them my spot on This Old House.

~~~

If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

An Army Brat Who Wrote the Book on Military Life

I've been reading up on military families and all that they endure, not least of all the frequent moves. A US serviceman or servicewoman's family moves about every three years, and children from military families move an average of 10 times during their childhoods.

That's a lot of being the "new kid."

I know from my own experiences that when my kids were going to their new school on their first day, I felt like my heart was being torn out. I wanted to drive alongside the bus and follow them from class to class, making sure they were OK. Knowing that would never fly, I stayed home and picked my cuticles and watched the clock. I don't know who was more relieved after the first-day stress was over - me or them.

My kids have had to do that way too much. And military kids find themselves there even more often.

Organizations like the National Military Family Association has programs that help the children of military families adjust to new towns, new schools, and parent deployments. But it's still not easy for military brats, knowing the next reassignment is right around the corner.

Author Christine Kriha Kastner of Cleveland, Ohio, has a different version of this story in her memory banks. By the time her father retired from the US Army, Christine and her family had moved 14 times. One of their homes was in Okinawa, where Christine formed lifelong friendships. She returned to her old school and wrote a book about it.  Soldiering On - Finding My Homes: Memoir of an Army Brat tells of Christine's time as an American child in Japan and her memorable return visit there as an adult to reconnect with old friends and classmates.

Living in 15 different homes and going to 10 different schools could make Christine and other military brats feel sorry for themselves. But Christine saw it all as an adventure. You won't find any whining or complaining in her book.

As a frequently-moving military brat, I can tell you that our moves were mostly fun—for us kids—but probably not so for my mother!  We lived in 15 different houses by the time my father retired from the Army.  For military families, moving arrangements were dictated to us, and we were used to following orders.  The packers showed up.  We had to be ready.  No excuses.

Sometimes we had to sort belongings to send off to permanent storage while we lived overseas.  Every move involved weight limits and Mom was always “purging” our belongings.  We never knew if something was off in storage or had been given away.  The best part about returning to the States was when the stuff from storage was delivered back.  It was so much fun to rediscover past treasures—toys and games and books that had been stashed in those boxes for all those years—that Mom had not tossed after all.  It was like Christmas all over again!

Learn more about Christine and Soldiering On - Finding My Homes: Memoir of an Army Brat at http://christine-kriha-kastner.com.

~~~

If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Moving as Seen Through the Eyes of a 4-Year-Old

Wendy from Charlotte, North Carolina, has moved around a lot, but she knows that a move with little children presents its own set of issues. Putting your possessions on a big truck and moving them to a different house: As adults, we know what a huge undertaking that is. To kids, it's almost too much to comprehend.

Here's a cute story from Wendy's family's move in Ohio:

When we relocated from Hubbard to Westerville, Ohio, we took the three kids with us to the closing, and the owners gracefully allowed us to walk through, so the kids could see where we were going to live.

Our youngest was 4, just two months from turning 5.  The house was in upheaval, just as our present home was, with packed boxes stacked everywhere.  Matt, then 7, asked where we were going to put "our" stuff. I explained to Matt and Robin, 4, that this family was moving to another home and taking all their stuff with them, so the house would be completely empty and ready for us to move in with our stuff. That all our boxes would go in a big truck and the truck would deliver it all safely to us.  My explanation was well thought out and executed, and I thought they really understood.

On moving-in day, we arrived later than the movers and they had already begun unloading the garage stuff into the driveway.  Robin said to her brother, "Look, Matt! They have a bike just like yours!"  She still hadn't understood!

Moral of the story, no matter how well we try to prepare them, young children just can't comprehend moving into a new home.

I can relate to this story, as I'm sure most of you can. When I was preparing to move from Cleveland to Virginia with our 4-year-old, he was visibly upset about the move until I reassured him that we were taking everything.  "Everything?" he asked. "Everything!" I emphasized. 

"Are we taking this wall?" he asked. 

~~~

If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

What Stuffed Animals? I Don't Remember Any Stuffed Animals

Here's a story that every parent can relate to, from Lynn of South Florida:

This is more of a confession than a funny story, but since my daughters are both adults now, I suppose it's time.

Lindsay and Brooks....the movers did not lose boxes of your stuffed animals when we moved from Miami to West Palm Beach.  I GAVE THEM AWAY.  What's worse, I donated them and took a tax deduction on them.  I sorted the ones I didn't think you'd miss (wrong again), and gave away dozens of them.  Maybe close to 100.  I only counted when I actually donated them, and we secreted away the tax forms so you wouldn't stumble upon them and discover us.

I knew they would need to be in storage for at least six months when we built the house, and who knew that a 6-year-old (Brooks, I'm talking about you) would have kept a ledger of her stuffed animals.  Mea culpa.

Think of it this way...since we got a tax deduction on the donation and then paid the bulk of your college tuition, we were actually paying forward with your stuffed animals.  And Brooks, since you are 26 and living in a foreign country now, and since your closet is still packed solid with stuffed animals, stacks of flute sheet music and child size 6 costumes, I'd say you still came out on the positive side of that ledger.

~~~

If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

A Cat-Astrophic Move

Here at It's Your Move!, we hear from a lot of movers. There's a lot of complaints, gnashing of teeth, and pointing the finger of blame. But it occurs to me that there's another side to the story. Is it possible that maybe the moving companies might have their own stories to tell?

So we went to HireAHelper.com, a marketplace for movers. "The moving companies listed on our site do the hard work of lifting heavy furniture in hundreds of cities across the country," said Hire-a-Helper's Daniel Horning, "which means they see the full spectrum of panicked customers with interesting stories."

This story comes from Alhood Vanlines LLC, a Denver moving company, and involves a disappearing furry friend. Enjoy!

~ ~ ~

About three weeks ago, here in beautiful Denver, CO, we did a full service move for a young lady. The relocation went very well, and the customer was happy with our services in the end, but there was an issue during the relocation. Pets like to hide or sneak out of homes when we relocate them, so we always recommend putting them in their own room. I received a call from one of my office workers who informed me of an upset customer. He was on the other line with this customer and all I could make out was him telling her "Ma'am we do not have your cat." 

Apparently this customer was convinced that my movers had stolen her cat when they performed her relocation. My movers informed the woman that typically cats will hide under beds, or commonly inside of couches, but the customer did not believe that was the case. She proceeded to call the office back again and informed us that she would be right over and that we were not to allow our movers to exit the truck until she got there.

This person somehow sped to our office and was able to beat our movers back. She asked them to step out of the truck while she searched the cab. She then had them open the back of the truck and searched it thoroughly. Our movers carry tool bags, so she asked them what was in the bag. My movers said, "our tools."

She replied, "Are you sure my cat is not in there?"

She was dead serious. Then she looked down the row of office buildings by our shop and asked, "What is that place?"

My mover answered, "It is a doggie daycare."

To which she replied, "Well, do they buy and sell cats there?"

It was as if she was implying that we had some sort of elaborate, organized cat smuggling ring going on in our spare time and moving furniture was our cover. A day went past and we received another call stating that at this point she was almost 100 percent sure that we had stolen her cat. The same office gentleman stated again "Ma'am, we do not have your cat." She then told him that he must just be covering for our movers because they are related. The gentlemen are, of course, not related and my office staff was a little taken aback by that statement, as they are both of African descent.

Twenty minutes later the lady called back to apologize to us and inform us that she had found her cat, he was in her couch hiding for two days, right where we suggested she look. People definitely take their pets seriously and value them as family, so we tread lightly until they are found.

Just another day for us, but still a funny situation to be in.

~~~

If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

Don't Forget the Dog!

When I met Gene  last year, we shared many commonalities: We both loved to follow politics, we both lived in Florida and had both previously lived in South Jersey. She and I both had more than our share of funny moving stories. My favorite of Gene's stories were about her pup Patches.

Moving is comedic enough, but add a dog to the mix and you've got something between a Hallmark Original series and an after-school special. When I hear about Gene's moving adventures, I can picture Patches sitting there taking it all in.

After Gene read Home Sweet Homes, she sat down and wrote about her family's moving adventures, in which Patches took a starring role. You'll love her stories.

~ ~ ~

I have been enjoying your book and had quite a few laughs.  I used to say that I was going to write a book about one of our moves.

Foremost was the one from Maryland to North Carolina.  We got the final belongings out of the Maryland house, left the last key on the kitchen counter, locked the door and left - only to realize down the street a bit that we had forgotten Patches, our dog.  Our 5-year old said, "Mom, don't worry I can climb up the porch post, go into the house from the bedroom window, get Patches and come out."  We had no idea that he had done this before!

So, we made a last stop at a neighbor's home on the other side of our development, said our goodbyes, drove off and left Patches again!  Of course we returned and retrieved the dog and have quite a few more Patches stories to tell.

After living in an apartment for three months in Charlotte, North Carolina, while our new house was being finished in the Spring, we at long last moved into the home.  The Friday we were to finally move there was a small snowfall.  Of course everyone goes crazy down there when it snows.  Our moving van with all our household goods from the storage warehouse slid off the road and the driver decided it was far too dangerous to continue to the homesite, so they went back to the warehouse.

We meanwhile had moved our clothes, etc. out of the temporary apartment and had notified the utility companies to turn off the electricity, etc.  At this point we had no alternative but to return to the apartment for the weekend.  We managed to survive that weekend by running an extension cord from the neighbor's apartment next door so that we could have lights in our apartment.

And I forgot to tell you that the powder blue carpet which we had specially ordered from the mill in Eden, NC, had arrived defective.  The installers had rolled the carpet out in the street after they had installed the underlayment when they discovered the defects.  So we had to have plywood laid over the foam rubber underlayment before the furniture could be brought in. We lived like this for several months until our new carpet was ready from the mill and installed.  Only then did we realize that everytime Patches went out of the house we had to wipe all four paws upon his return because our sod had not been laid in the yard and the soil was red clay.  We also discovered that the builder had failed to install shims between the columns which supported the house and the floor joists, so the house shook when Patches walked across the kitchen floor.

Like you, we have had many moves and were able to stay in the North Carolina house only a year.  We left with me crying all the way to Moorestown, New Jersey. and have moved three times since for a total lifetime ownership of seven single-family homes and some condos added.

 ~ ~ ~

Poor Patches! Sometimes I wonder what these dogs think of us, moving all over the place.  Now it’s Your Move! Tell us your funny moving stories at info@homesweethomesbook.com.  And don't forget to send in photos, too! 

~~~

If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.

How to Intimidate Your Movers

My friend Barb, who I've known since we were both nearly in diapers, is a savvy, single, sophisticated woman. But intimidating she is not. At the end of the day she's from Ohio, and as a Buckeye State native myself, I can tell you we are born with the honesty gene and the down-to-earth gene, but not an intimidation gene.

So when Barb was moving, her moving crew was - to put it gently - from the other side of the tracks. There were four of them and even fewer teeth among them. Barb was alone and just a little bit intimidated by her moving crew. Wanting to appear as menacing as she could, Barb did what any enterprising woman would do: She talked in a New York accent.

"So they would be afraid of me," she recalled. "How silly."

Barb also tipped the movers way more than she should have "so they would think I was a real New Yorker."

"They probably laughed all the way to the liquor store," she said.

 What's your funny moving story? Send us a note at info@homesweethomesbook.com.

~~~

If you like Diane's humorous take on moving, you'll love her book Home Sweet Homes: How Bundt Cakes, Bubble Wrap, and My Accent Helped Me Survive Nine Moves.